I'm thinking back to events on Monday evening and how easily we laughed. The memory seems strange, like, surely we weren't laughing so easily, in light of what's happened. But, of course, it hadn't happened yet. My current feelings are casting a pall over the memories.

I want all the moping to be over with, but it seems like laughter would be inappropriate, seen as belittling our situation.

I'm craving some kind of communal love-in. I wish we'd gone to the church last night. Maybe there's something going on tonight.