How bizarre.
I went in three bookstores last night
and didn't buy anything.
(That they didn't have what I wanted
is beside the point.)
On Christmas,
I saw a group of homeless people,
with a cookfire and a tarp,
camped out across the parking lot
from a "luxury boarding" kennel for dogs.
Something needs to change.
We took a
around Town Lake today.
Day at the lake
plus a soy mocha
plus an Alphasmart
equals 5,227 words.
Oh, holy cow.
I baked!
Lots and lots of bread.
And it came out great.
This is, like,
a New Sherbie,
or something.
Estudio el español.
¿Hablan ustedes?
"If we could see through time, that's what a person would look like, an infinite promenade of variants, forced to manifest anew each moment as a singularity because of the limitations forced onto perception by time."
Open letter to DVD menu designers:
Make your hotspots large.
Some of us navigate with mice;
some of us use the fussy, spotty IR remotes
that come with projectors
and are less responsive
than a ten-year-old arcade joystick
with soda spilled into it.
I should be able to click on the whole word
and a good range of pixels around it,
not some cute green circle
the size of Janet Jackson's nipple shield.
Thank you.
I like reading funny blogs.
They get funny comments.
I want to have a funny blog.
Hey. You.
Make with the funny.
Frost on the grass this morning.
Spent Thanksgiving with my family in California.
Much fun was had by all.
The way things should work:
Took the compost bin out of its box.
Tore up the box.
Put the box into the compost bin.
I keep saying I'm a calligrapher.
Well, I've made good,
and I'm sharing.
Holiday Postcards for sale.
I also put the image on a mug
and traditional greeting cards in
Spyderella's Attic.
Trying out Flickr for photo management,
I've created a photoset for our
Victory Chimes photos.
Enjoying Flickr so far.
Rude Awakening #743:
There is no garden
in Garden Ridge.
A note for the pro-gun-control liberals:
Never forget,
the second amendment
grants us the right to defend ourselves
against our tyrannical government.

I like Q&A memes. This one's from Fred, who got it from Betty.
Hardback or Paperback? Paperback or eBook. Hardbacks leave marks on my tummy.
Highlight or Underline? Neither, ever. It's a greater hindrance than taking no notes at all, since you highlight instead of read.
Lewis or Tolkien? Let's see... Read Narnia 5 times; read LOtR... well... I've got a bookmark in one of 'em.
E.B. White or A.A. Milne? I think Charlotte and Pooh would be friends, don't you?
T.S. Eliot or e.e. cummings? e.e. cummings.
Stephen King or Dean Koontz? Stephen King.
Barnes & Noble or Borders? Waldenbooks or B. Dalton? BookPeople, BookPeople, BookPeople.
Fantasy or Science Fiction? Fantasy is a plotline that gets mistaken for a genre. Waste of my time. Sci-fi for me, baby.
Horror or Suspense? Horror.
Bookmark or Dogear? Bookmark, envelope, bank receipt, business card, Toastmasters ribbon, magazine postcard, bacon...
Hemingway or Faulkner? I am so not erudite enough.
Fitzgerald or Steinbeck? I remember suffering through Steinbeck in high school, while finding Fitzgerald rather readable. That was ages ago, though.
John Irving or John Updike? See above, re erudite.
Homer or Plato? Homer.
Geoffrey Chaucer or Edmund Spenser? Literary people are name-droppers, if you ask me. How much Stephen Hawking, Roger Penrose, Kip Thorne, or Albert Einstein have you read, eh?
Pen or Pencil? Papermate Comfortmate retractable ballpoint pen.
Looseleaf or Notebook? Moleskine notebook, like what Hemmingway used. (Nyeah.)
Alphabetize: By Author or By Title? My books are arranged by height.
Dustjacket: On or Off? On, and it makes me faintly crazy when Jon takes them off and allows them to get creased.
Novella or Epic? My fave is the sci-fi short-short. But I've been known to read epics. I lean away from them, though, because that seems to be the mainstay of sloppy writing and lazy editing in the fantasy genre. Ask yourself: Does this story have to be this long?
John Grisham or Scott Turow? I read modern hype authors even less than I read old classics. I'm at least making an effort towards the latter.
J.K. Rowling or Lemony Snicket? Lemony Snicket is the better wordsmith. Rowling is telling an engaging story, though.
Fiction or Non-fiction? Chocolate or steak?
Historical Biography or Historical Romance? Biography.
A Few Pages per Sitting or Finish at Least a Chapter? At least a chapter, which keeps making me late to work.
Short Story or Creative Non-fiction Essay? Cupcakes or pie? Depends on the piece.
"It was a dark and stormy night" or "Once upon a time"? Neil Gaiman has it right: Once upon a dark and stormy time...
Buy or Borrow? Borrow. I hold library cards in Austin and in Pflugerville.
Book Reviews or Word of Mouth? Recommendations from people I respect. Also, sitting on the floor and picking things off the shelf that catch my eye. I found Salamander that way.

photos of our Halloween costumes this year
Oh my gosh,
I love Textpattern.
My crush on Dean
just got a whole lot worse.
Jon won the Division-level
Tall Tales contest!
On to the District, baby.
The best things in life
are blogged.
I'm in one of my moods again.
I'm slavering over TextPattern, TextDrive,
and Blogger-for-NaNoWriMo.
And I still want to make a skeksis.
Halloween Unpreparedness Anxiety.
Maybe I should be a ninja.
I know I live in Texas,
and I know the electoral college makes it moot,
but I've got a voice,
and I got a real charge out of using it:
I voted!
(Texas has no-excuses-required early voting.)
Parents arrive tonight.
is not to be
trifled with.
Covetous capitalist whore:
want, want, want
MYST 4 is...

My neighbor's a trumpet player.
He's warming up.
It's kinda cool.
Makes me want to join in.
I knew they'd be talented.
I knew they'd be funny.
I didn't know they'd be sexy.
Laurie Anderson was really cool.
Insight of the evening:
Stuttering happens at the beginning
because it is a fear of the beginning.
By the time we get to the end,
it's too late to be afraid.
I might even put this in my sidebar:
Mount St. Helens webcam.
I watched the sun rise this morning.
The Royal Tenenbaums really impressed me.
It told its story the way that books I like tell their stories. It felt like Visual Michael Chabon.
Scenes are composed like paintings. Color is a tool.
There is not a wasted frame of celluloid. A person's entire story is transmitted directly into your brain with a shot that lasts bare seconds.
The family in the story is so broken and weird that they're just like you.
It's not that the movie is funny and poignant;
it's that every moment is funny and poignant.
Gosh, you know?
Everything just got better.
We all know people we'd like to say this to...

Close your noise hole.
There's stupid falling out.
code finished.
now I can sleep.
is not a synonym for "center,"
nor does it mean
"really big important center."
It means "place above the center,"
as in, the place on the earth's crust
above the location of the earthquake.
And I'll take issue with any
usage board that says otherwise.
Passed a school bus today.
It said "Student Driver."
Aren't they all?
In an attempt to make our 3-hour department-wide meetings more palatable, the organizers send trivia questions ahead of time, and hold a drawing for restaurant gift certificates amongst the right answers during the meeting. (The only way to make these meetings more palatable is to make them shorter. Anything that does not make them shorter is not "fun," but "annoying." Shorter. Just shorter.) Yes, we are asked trivia questions without a time limit (except, I suppose, "Friday") while sitting in front of internet connections to Google. Don't think on it too hard.

Today I received the following emails, sent to every member of the department:
11:15 am (Department Admin): What was General Phil Sheridan's horse's name?
11:30 am (Department Employee): Old Rienzi
11:31 am (Same Department Employee): Sorry my bad
What shall we do
with a drunken sailor?
I'm in a crafty mood,
looking at making paper
and making shoes.
I am back.
I have downloaded 376 pieces of spam.
I wish I were still sailing.
When you set your
out-of-office assistant,
then it's really real.

Woo hoo!
I am now officially cool.
I have—
and it's worth mentioning
that this is the realization
of a 15-year dream—
my very own
electric bass guitar.
[ah heh hem]
We interrupt this blog...
Psst, hey Mister Nihil.
Send me an email quick, wouldya?
It's first underscore last
at that place where I work dot com.
Thanks, ever so.

And now,
back to your regularly scheduled blog.
When I say,
"Remind me again in an hour,"
I don't mean an actual hour,
you literal boob.
I just mean,
when I'm ready to think about it.
Stupid Outlook.
5, 4, 3, 2...
All my devices
run out of juice
at the same t
Tree's okay; just needs food.
Now the air conditioner
is getting intermittant.
It's always something, eh?
It's a fact:
Men who drive
huge pickup trucks
to desk jobs
have small penises.
My diversion and my mania,
the puzzle.
Added a (currently small)
Meeker gallery
and many pictures of LoveSacs.
Added photos to the end of that
domestic gallery.
Posted some more
domestic photos.
And now for something completely different:
Test Case Walkthroughs!
'Cause we haven't been doing that
for the past three weeks already.
Think it would be inappropriate
to fake a heart attack during the call?
Currently reading
Don't Know Much About History.
Highly recommended.
Covers U.S. history from Columbus to Dubya,
stitching those vague scraps
you gleaned from high-school football coaches
onto a cohesive tapestry.
I got to meet
Charles Vess.
Hey, you.
Hey, Texans!
Jon and I will host
an I-Just-Voted Party
after November 2.
Get off your duff and register.
Then be at the polls on Nov 2.
Party details to follow.
Magazines bought yesterday:
We're so edgy,
we cut ourselves.
rock climbing,
3 loads of laundry,
scrubbed the bathtub,
pulled honeysuckle out of the tree.
I soaked,
and he read me stories.
is so
a substitute
for food.
Flight, car, ship
have all been arranged.
I just have to wait.
People ask me
(and by "people,"
I mean "Toastmasters")
why I think the District Conference
isn't worth the price of admission.
I'll put it for you plainly:
If I'm spending 100 bucks for a con,
I'm damn well going to be
meeting Neil Gaiman at it.
And just like that,
a long weekend evaporates.
I am so back in the office.
My husband is crazy-
good at Flash games.
This has to be
good for something,
doesn't it?
After a touch more margarita
than was quite good for me,
we got to talking
about crazy moms,
and how not-crazy mine is.
I ought to call her,
thank her,

I effused.
Then I realized:
Holy crap,
I almost drunk-called my mom.
We filled out the project-tracking tool
(my tool).
We presented our findings.
We made a difference.
I've got a yellow belt
in process improvement.
If nothing ever
lasts forever,
tell me,
what's forever for?
I've added a
Yahoo calendar,
so you can see how busy I am.
The software's kinda fun.
Spider-Man, Spider-Man...
Dude, Spider-Man 2 was awesome.
Very human, developed characters,
and a sympathetic villian!
Of course,
Michael Chabon contributed.
Some things degrade over time.
Some things
are just not as good
as you remember them.
Quantum Leap
is not some things.
Why I/T people
don't wear dresses:
Nowhere to hang the support pager.
Cube-dwelling etiquette question for you:
When two generally
(and often specifically)
irritating people
yell over the wall to each other
with a question that neither can answer,
should you:
a) walk over and politely volunteer the answer,
b) join in their charming low-tech conference call,
c) keep your peace, since ignorance is bliss and they don't really want to know anyway,
or d) tell them to shut the fuck up because some of us are trying to work and already know how to use our damn email program?
Just wondering.
If you can't say anything nice... don't update your blog.
I love estimating software task durations.
And by "love," I mean not.
Zelda looks lonely.
I want another zebra.
We are so frail.
Aah! It gets worse!
"Devil Went Down To Georgia" Phone Man
is now
"Son of a Preacher Man" Phone Man.
There will be blood.
Oh, yes.
Sometimes I wonder
if everything isn't
just a little
fiction in my head.
Such the solipsist.
I am developing
such a crush
on Patrick McGoohan.
I cooked!
Cornbread from scratch,
and chicken with sauteed onions and garlic.
I'm becoming
an entirely different person.
Last night,
I was Lawn-Care-Destructo-Sherbie.
Very odd, this home-owning shtick.
Fell into a Home Depot fugue.
Saved myself
only by chanting,
"Get a hacksaw and get out.
Get a hacksaw and get out."
is not a...
After hearing about it all over the net,
I finally had an opportunity to listen to
Eric Idle's FCC song.
He's my hero.
Evening wildlife report:
twitterpated butterflies,
a displaying anole,
and a hummingbird.
Toastmasters Benefit #7926:
The cute boy at work
that I see every day
on his motorcycle
when I leave
just joined our club.
He hates "basically," too.
Software Estimation, A Parable
Question: If it takes one woman nine months to have a baby, how long will it take two women?
Woman's Answer: Nine months.
Manager's Answer: 4.5 months.
Developer's Answer: 12 months, since she's a junior developer. (Get it? Junior Developer? Ha!)
Executive's Answer: Can't we outsource that?
Right here, baby.
And finally
(It's Crazy Web Day in Sherbie Land.),
if it doesn't already,
will point here shortly.
That will always work,
so get in the habit, slacker.
switching my blog to convert linebreaks
should cause comments
to convert linebreaks.
So just press Enter
when you want a new line.
Don't say I never did nuthin' for ya.
Because I love you
and because Blogger
makes it so gosh darn easy,
I give you:
site feed
Added some photos of our

on-a-whim trip to the

Hobby-Eberly Telescope,

last Labor Day.

provides logins to free sites

that require registrations.

Their FAQ explains why.

At last,

I can read NY Times articles.
Posted some slightly older

photos of the new Udvar-Hazy Center

of the National Air and Space Museum.

You can't fit the whole Concord

in one frame.
"Everybody says, 'Join our religion

to get to Heaven.'

I say, 'No, thanks.

Why, bless my soul,

I'm already there.'"

Oh, bliss.

At this moment,

I am sitting in a LoveSac,

in my living room,

with (at last!) internet restored.

It doesn't get any better, baby.
Spent yesterday at a ball game.

Sunburned my knees.

Overcast and pleasant all day.

Had a nice time with my co-workers.
Tuesday's Wildlife Spotting:


hop, hop, hop...
Reading an Agatha Christie novel,

playing sleuth along with Poirot,

and referred to attached

documents and clues,

one realizes certain limitations

in ebooks.
I rode the bus!

All by myself!

Just like...

a kid.

Funny how these things

come full circle.
New post,

using Blogger-powered comments.
Wildlife report from Whispering Creek:

another snail,

an anole,

and a gecko.
Closing in 11.2 hours!

A homeowner!


At the Bank of America to make a deposit,

getting waited on by a person

was considerably faster

(and pleasanter)

than using an ATM.

Changes are afoot.

I've finally gotten my act together

and will be moving this blog

back onto my own space.

To keep current with my wanderings,

please use to find me.
So I, uh,

changed a few things.
Describe your ideal job.
Which was your favorite birthday,

and why?
Even the toothpicks

are inadequate

for these eyelids.
Watching a stock price

after you sell

will make you insane.
Today, on our front-door-to-be,

there were:

a snail,

a lizard,

and a caterpillar that looks like bark.

And it's so quiet.
Oh, these boys know how to woo.

"Because you're such an active

and long-time Blogger user,

we'd like you to try Gmail."

Of course I signed up.

Yes, on the first date, even.
Why do you have a PDA, Sharon?

Why, so I can play

Atari 2600 games,

of course.


They opted

to go back to Russia.

Something about "SUVs."

Oh, well.
As perfect as Amelie is,

a theater full of kindred spirits

coyly eating creme brulee

is perfecter.
I don't know.

Is it a good thing

that I can work

from a coffeehouse

on a Saturday?
It worked!

Your finger-crossing

worked great.

Thanks, everybody.

Don't jinx it.
Oh. My. God.

Remember the annoying ape

with the phone that plays revele?

It now rings

"Devil Went Down to Georgia,"

with lyrics and everything.

[readies ICBM (Inter-Cubicle Ballistic Missile)]
Didn't want to overhear:

"...water up my nose,

and the Speedo was a little too tight."

Oh, yeah.

Time for coffee.
Define pathetic:

A narcoleptic with insomnia.

I hate Daylight Savings.
A mix-up in paperwork.

Trouble with INS.

Maybe next week...
Oh help. Ack.

iTunes gift certificate from Dad.

Frozen into inaction for 3 months.

Finally made a decision, made a list.

Free-associated across artists.

Shopping now for over 2 hours.

Orphans tomorrow.

Oh boy!
Eternal Sunshine...

is amazing,




and human.

Delicious sci-fi.
In light of the house,

we've decided

to start a family.

The orphans from Russia

arrive next Tuesday.

Can't wait!
Have I mentioned

that we're house shopping?

I feel so



you great ape.

C'mon, say "mute" again,


Where are my...


[lightening... thunder]

Just how dumb do they...

"To scan your PC for spyware,

click here!"

Uh... right, guys.
Get this lesson into your thick head:

When she says, "Sorry, out of soy,"

do not say, "Cow milk's okay."

print stickers

t-shirt art, supplies

cd cover, contents

announce on icp
Favorite spam today:


Subject: The hottest collection

of nympho moms...
Roommate's friendly.

Internet access at the state penn

a little spotty.


so worth it.
Wait, remind me again?

Why is homicide

a bad idea?
This lettuce wrap

was designed by someone

who has heard of lettuce wraps,

but never seen one.

Small victories.

Every day,

small victories.
It's all in bloom!
Him: "We're not going

to build it quick;

we're going to build it right."

Me: "Right here,

in the design spec:

'We're not going to build it right;

we're going to build it quick.'"

I knew it on Saturday

but didn't read it 'til today:

Spalding Gray is dead.
Does this need for coffee

stem from weak moral fiber?



there's a tall soy mocha

with my name on it.
I climbed on real rock!



Happy Birthday,


Orbiter was amazing.

Must write a review soon.
When I sit quiet,

I can hear

the blood in my ears.

I feel like I'm living

in a Poe story.

my script fu

is not so 133t.
I can feel

all of my clothes.

Yesterday I was called

"anal" and "opinionated"

(by two different people),

and they were both compliments.
In case you're wondering,

all I do

is attend meetings

I don't mind

if you bring your kids to work,

but I could do without

the rocketship sounds.

software demo

led by

a heavily accented


I am so tired.
Master and Commander

has really cool ships.

Dress warmly, though.
I have new shoes,

and I can't tell you how happy

this makes me.

Oooh, comfy shoes!
Sci-fi slang prediction:

In the future,

we'll say something is

"worth the download"

or "worth the bandwidth."
Emotional health barometer:

I've started reading

the Narnia Chronicles again.
Given how breakfast tacos

approximate the perfect food,

it's rather amazing

they haven't made it up north.
Do you think

these posts

are getting longer?
How unexpected.

Found a kindred spirit at work.

"You know what gets me lately?"

he asks.

"Effectivity," I think.

"Effectivity!" he says. "What about


And I have a new friend.
Stereo quits. ABS light comes on.

Sharon checks manual,

resigns herself to a trip to the shop,

turns stereo off and on.

Stereo quits. ABS light turns off.

Would it be wrong

if I just started shouting at people?
Oh my.

I like the idea of

thinking of myself as Scheherazade.

These are stirring words

to a would-be writer.
Okay, if you had

an iTunes gift certificate,

what would you get?
As promised:

a review of the Diva Cup
Now everybody knows it's my birthday.

Tee hee.

Mom sent balloons.
Overheard: "I've got pink eye."


What have you touched?

Get the hell out of the office!


States I've been in.

You can tell where I lived,

where I visited,

and where I drove through

to get to the new Where I Live.

Create your own.
more novel research
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Something to look forward to!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!...
I'll open my eyes

when you give me

a damn good reason.
I never knew

a project

for a tool

that tracks projects

would confuse so many people.
(a Christmas haiku)

iTunes gift credit:

I am debilitated

by indecision.
I'm developing

(instead of leading)

so I'm all cody and learny

and creativy,

hence all the links on theory.

(They're for me,

but you can read along.)
Read, print,

post next to monitor:

usable web forms
Philosophy of coding,


but generally useful.
an intro to

XML and Databases
Blue waffles!

A nice introduction to

set theory.
Mother asks how to

"send you something [at work] to

like embarass you publically

on your birthday."

I'm not sure how to answer that.

Moot, moot, moot,


I am gonna tase

the next moron who says "mute."
Inspired by weekly doses

of the dense, meaty morsels

of FronteraFest Short Fringe,

I am writing a play.


play-hooky weather.
Primary keys are for sissies!

Please kill me.

We were slashdotted.

I feel so sexy.

Dad will be so jealous.
Insight into my life:

in film.
Is your inbox lonely?

Send a mtg invite

to half the department.

Have I got this right?

http : html :: soap : xml
A little light reading from MIT:

Structure and Interpretation of Programs

Intro to Algorithms

Define a programming concept

without referring

to the same damn concept

in another language.
"Lewis and Clark" is...

a really amusing verb.
brain = pudding


(Check the author list.)
'Bout dang time.

I ordered me

a menstrual cup.

Walk my talk,

love my goddess,

all that.

I confess!

I love my iPod.

Look busy.
2004 Resolution:

Seek joy.